Investigating the social functions of hurt feelings in middle childhood

Abstract

Expressions of hurt feelings are assumed to serve an important social function: communicating that a transgression needs to be repaired. This message is accompanied by a threat to withdraw affection which may motivate the transgressing individual to repair—by increasing interpersonal distance and eliciting feelings of guilt. We investigated the development of this social function of hurt feelings expressed as sulking behavior in direct contrast to related yet distinct emotional expressions (i.e., anger and disappointment). Four- to 5-year-old (Study 1, N = 108, 54 female) and 6-year-old urban German children (Study 2, N = 72, 36 female) participated in a mock video call in which we assessed their responses to a peer’s sulking behavior as opposed to angry and disappointed behavior. We used a forced-choice puppet interview, measuring fear, sympathy, and guilt reactions. In an additional distancing task, we assessed whether children would distance themselves from their peer depending on their emotional expressions. In both age groups, we found that sulking behavior led to medium distancing, while angry behavior led to high and disappointed behavior to low distancing. Disappointed behavior elicited empathic reactions, and angry behavior led to fear. Sulking behavior actuated guilt among 6-year-olds, but not younger children. These results suggest that the preschool years are a critical period for understanding how children’s hurt feelings distinctively structure social interactions.